Seeking Peace
by WitchFire Hazel
Summary: When River feels a disturbance in the fabric of the 'verse, the crew of Serenity seek out the disturbance to make it right. What they find though isn't what they were expecting. *Do not own anything on Firefly. Just wish I did... Joss is Boss.*
1. Chapter 1

Serenity. A mass of cold steel and combustible parts. Yet, for the eight souls that lived aboard her, she was a home, a haven. When they fell off to sleep at night, they did so easily, without fear. No longer afraid that the government was after them. The Tams, Simon and River still found themselves looking over their shoulders, but more out of habit then fear. They were free; no longer under the heel of the Alliance.

It was almost a year since the Miranda fiasco. Everyone's wounds had finally healed, at least the physical ones. Book's death had wounded them far greater than any physical wound ever could. Everyone felt the pain of it, but none more than Mal. Book had been there for them, as a friend and for guidance, and had always provided Mal and the crew of Serenity with a safe place to rest. And the loss of his friendship pained Mal something fierce. Mal stayed strong in front of the crew, but late at night Mal had found that every time he closed his eyes, the dying face of the Shepherd formed before his eyes- bloody and accusing- and he had taken to drinking Jayne's stash of booze so he could fall asleep. He was able to hide it at first, but soon everyone had begun to notice. And their worrying only had him hitting the booze harder. It was the only comfort he had in the black.

But Mal eventually found comfort somewhere else: in Inara. She couldn't see losing him and she could have during the Reaver attack. She didn't want that hurt. Didn't want to have to live with the knowledge that she never got to tell him how much she loved him. So late one night while he was walking his rounds on Serenity, a bottle of Jayne's whiskey in his hands, she cornered him, and while he was trying to comprehend what was going on- his mouth flapping open like a dead fish- she kissed him. When they broke apart, Mal realized he had dropped the whiskey and that there was a pool it at their feet- forgotten. He pulled her back to him and they struggled to her shuttle and confessed their love in the only way they could in that moment. They had been inseparable ever since.

It took Wash months to fully recover from the harpoon that had impaled him in the shoulder. If he hadn't seen it coming and moved, it would have hit him square in the chest and killed him almost instantly. As it was, it took Mal and Zoe way too long to free the unconscious Wash from his chair, and they got pinned down by the reavers. After the fight, the Alliance patched them and Serenity up and sent them on their not-so-merry way. Since Wash was still too injured to fly and River was found to have an affinity for it, Mal taught her the intricacies of flying and keeping a boat in the air. As Wash healed, he'd join her on the bridge and teach her every nuance Serenity had. He even got to sit in the pilot's seat since River refused to. One day Wash had asked her why she didn't sit in his chair, and she said she didn't want to take his place and sitting in _his_ chair felt like just that. He got a big grin on his face when she said that and limped over to her, pulling her into a one-armed hug. She stiffened at first, the contact showing his thoughts, but soon relaxed when she felt only his love, it was so encompassing. He loved her, not just for saying what she did, but for just being who she was. But that love was so dwarfed by the love he felt for his Zoe, who was his _shiong-tsan sha-sho, _and soon to be the mother of his grinned back at his expecting wife, with her slightly rounded belly, "Can we keep her lambie toes?" She laughed at the look on his face, and walked up to wrap one of her arms around his neck, curling her hand in his hair, "I don't see why not husband." River smiled, happy to be accepted.

After Miranda and the Reavers, River seemed better, almost perfect. Almost. She didn't have fits anymore and her speech had gotten better, but she was still off. Large crowds frightened her, the amount of thoughts and emotions pressing against her brain caused her to revert to her old self. Contact caused it as well. Touch only amplified her ability to read and no block she put up was strong enough to keep thoughts out then. She only allowed Simon to touch her. He had to. He finally found a combination of drugs that helped River. They acted as her stripped Amygdala was supposed to, filter emotions so that she wasn't overwhelmed. Only strong emotions could overpower the drugs he gave her.

He also had to give her a smoother most nights. For the nightmares. They didn't stop after Miranda. They were mostly about her time at the Academy- something she still couldn't talk about- and some were about Miranda. Occasionally a random memory- one not hers- would surface and find there way into her dreams as well. On those nights she would head up to the bridge and just look at the stars and find a peace, a quietness that only came from the black, the emptiness. It was on a night like that that she got the first indications of an unquietess. She didn't know where it came from, but she had to find it. It intruded on her peace, and she knew that if she didn't find it, she would never find this peace again.

"Hey little 'Tross. What' you doing?" Mal asked, finishing up his nightly rounds. He stopped dead when he saw the look on her face. He'd known her long enough to know when she was seein' something. "Somethin' on your mind darling?"

"A need… a pain. She feels it. Far away. Needs it. Needs to stop it. Can't… can't trace it." She said, her speech failing her. Mal saw that she was having trouble; saw the frustration on her face. She could talk a good yarn, all intelligible and coherent, but he knew that when something was bothering her, her speech became garbled and confusing. He knew she wouldn't be able to ignore it either, and that it would take control like the Miranda secret did if she didn't find it and fix it.

"Where is it?" He asked sitting in the pilots seat. "And _how_ far away it is?"

"Needs to find it. Looking now." She said, logging onto the cortex. She sat there, staring at the screen, with her unblinking stare, for hours, her hands flying over the keyboard as she followed every hint her brain sent her. She never ceased, never wavered as night wore on to morning. Of course there was no indication of the passing of time- it was always dark in the black- except for the little clock at the base of the palm tree on the console at the captain's feet.

Morning brought the crew into the kitchen for breakfast, then up to the bridge as Mal and River remained absent. They filed onto the bridge, then froze as they saw the captain sitting in Wash's chair, staring intently at River. River on the other hand, was bent over the cortex screen, her hands flying. The captain looked like he hadn't slept all night. "Is everything okay Cap'n?" Zoe asked, seeing Mal's face. Simon moved over to River, trying to speak to her, but River ignored him completely.

"_Tzuh muh luh_?" Kaylee asked, rubbing her eyes as she walked onto the bridge. She had been late in waking up and hadn't gone right to the kitchen when she finally did. Serenity had been acting funny lately and so Kaylee had been in the engine room all night checking up on her, making sure she was acting right. That was where she had fallen asleep; she was still covered in grease and her hair was a mess as usual. Simon glanced her way, giving her a genuine smile that she returned, blushing.

"Not rightly sure mei mei, but River seems to be feelin' something. She doesn't know exactly what it is. She's been looking all night." Mal said, rubbing his eyes. He gave Inara a small smile as she stepped up and laid a hand on his shoulder; he gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Great. Moonbrain's getting' all crazy again. Just what we need." Jayne said, leaning against the wall next to the door. He hadn't exactly warmed to the doc and his little sister, but neither was he trying to throw them out of the airlock or anything of the sort. He even came to admire the girl. She was a hell of a fighter- taking on that room full of reavers like that- and damn was she smart. Hurt his head, listening to all those fancible words tumble from her lips, but he even admired that about her. Not many people could say all those long words without getting tongue tied, hisself included, so he had to hand it to the few people who could- 'cept them that rubbed it in his face, thinking he didn't know that was what they were doing. River wasn't like that. She just simply thought like that.

"Jayne. She coulda left you back on Ita when you decided to forget what time we were leaving?" Simon said, glaring back at the big man, suppressing a grin. The mercenary wasn't exactly his favorite person in the 'verse, but neither did he hate him anymore. The turning point came when Jayne actually apologized- _apologized_- for what he did to them on Ariel. All Simon could do was stare at him, as if he grew a second head, and Jayne grunted, turned beet red and stomped off, yelling: "_Fine! Don't say anything. Didn't mean it anyways." _Simon wasn't fooled. He knew Jayne had meant it. Jayne wasn't one to admit he was wrong- ever. "Get too busy with your latest whore?"

"She was a good one. Ya shoulda heard what we did." Jayne said, smirking, "Everybody else in the house did."

Everyone grimaced at the statement and the captain shouted, "I can't know that!" at the same time River said _"Bizui!" _They all stared at her back, for she had not turned from the cortex. She did not want to hear the pictures floating around in the merc's head, especially not those ones. Those thoughts always made her shudder, and not in a good way. She forced her mind to block them out as she pointed at a dot on the screen. Mal couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu; she had looked the same way when she found Miranda.

"You find it lil albatross?" Mal asked, walking over to where she sat, tugging 'Nara along with him; he never could separate himself from her completely, and it didn't shame him to publicly display it: always holding her hand or rubbing her hair. He looked down at River, who was suddenly staring intently at him, her big brown eyes shiny with a film of tears. He was shocked at the sight. He could handle her killing a room full of reavers, but her tears scared the hell out of him, "River?"

"Fate convenes. Dice is rolled. Past and present and future mix." She said, turning to face everybody; the tears suddenly gone. Her eyes were red and she had dark circles under them that accentuated her paleness. In here eyes was sadness, hope and even fear. She was scared. It wasn't simply fear- it was a stark terror that gripped her, locking her muscles, trying to shut down her brain, "I can't go back. Too many memories. Hurt; pain. Bundled together like a mass of nerves waiting to be pricked. The pain; the pleasure." She was panting and clutching her head. Simon stepped forward to help her, but she just held up a hand and snapped her eyes to his, so he stepped back to Kaylee's side, "But it is needed. She _needs_ me."

"She?" Simon asked, curling his hand around Kaylee's. He didn't like seeing her like this. It reminded him too much of what she was like before; a time he didn't want to ever remember.

"She is there. Must find her. She needs me." River said, her eyes holding an anguish they never did. "Can't go back- must go back- but she needs me- us. She hurts- searches. Can't escape them. Can't escape. Not like sister did. No one who loves her. Alone, so alone."

"Can't escape who Rivosaur?" Wash asked, using his favorite nickname for her. He, like everyone else in the room, had a sinking feeling and an idea of what she was talking about, but they needed to hear it, needed it confirmed by their resident reader.

She looked from each of her family members to the other, each communicating to her how much they loved her… well everyone except Jayne- his was a mere indifference that kept his admiration hidden. She said she didn't want to go back and she didn't, but the soul in need needed her and she couldn't make herself ignore the pain. She welcomed it, she needed the pain to bring on the anger, to open the doors to the weapon those monsters created.

"River? Can't escape who?" Simon asked, stepping up to her side and knelt so that they were eye to eye. He saw the stark terror and pain in her eyes, but he also saw the anger that was receding to the burning determination and emptiness of the weapon he knew she could become. "River? _Mei mei_? Who are you talking about?"

"Two by two, blood-soaked blue." she said, standing so suddenly that the others took a quick step back, "They attack by night and steal the candy from the little ones. Nothing left but ash and dust."

"Riv-?" Inara started to say when River suddenly collapsed. The only thing that saved her from hitting the floor was the fact that Simon was so near.

He cradled her in his arms as he carried her down to the infirmary. He knew that the others were following, needing to know what was going on. He laid her on the cold infirmary table and turned on the over-head light. He pulled out a pen light from a nearby drawer and peeled back her eyelids to check her eyes. As soon as the light hit her pupils, they contracted and she shot straight up off the table, catching Simon around the throat. She wasn't gripping hard enough to cut off airflow, but her hold was strong enough, that he couldn't move. She looked around the room, not really seeing the others. Her mind was in control of her, and it was currently in a place she never wanted to step foot in again. She looked up at the doctor who was about to put needles into her eyes, only to find her brother's face. She glanced down at his hands quickly then remembered where she was. Not at a government sponsored academy; a Firefly. Her Serenity; home.

She released him then backed away from him, seeing his intent to put one of those needles in her arm. _Not the eyes. Never the eyes._ She shook off the thought and pushed her way out of the infirmary. She couldn't stand to be in that cold place anymore. The others followed her with their eyes, wondering if the last few months had just been a fluke and she was back to her old self again. She should have been hurt by that, but she wasn't. She knew it wasn't a fluke. She _was_ better; it was just that place. Just a memory.

She sat on the couch in the commons and inhaled deeply, taking in the stale smell of the ship. Recycled air. Not fresh, but at least there was air. She shook her head and exhaled loudly, a sigh really. She hated when she got distracted. "No needles _ge ge_. She is fine. Just a memory. It isn't real."

They all stared at her with something akin to relief and went to sit around her. Her family. They trusted her. They always would. Even Jayne trusted River. That surprised her. He had every right _not_ to trust her. She had cut him, deeply. He hadn't known why she did, only knew that she did. Didn't know that the Sun was controlling the 'verse. That the red would cover the Blue.

"Can you explain to us what happened earlier _mei mei_. On the bridge?" Simon asked as he allowed Kaylee to sit on his lap. They weren't really together, it was just known that they would eventually be. So her small form on his lap wasn't what they expected and it jolted them out of their depressed state. They all looked shocked and pleasantly surprised at the sight of them like that, earning a deep blush from Simon. _Brother really is a boob. Must tell him later._

"I felt thoughts from another person. One like myself. Just different. Not sure how." River said, trying to compose her thoughts as much as she could. The slight distraction of Simon and Kaylee allowed her to reign in control of her chaotic thoughts a little. "She is hurt and alone and needs us to help her. She is in the place that is fallaciously known as the Academy. That is the place she is imprisoned."

"But the Academy is on Osiris, _mei mei_." Simon said, his eyes bugging out of his skull, "How can you feel her thoughts from that far?"

"She… I do not know. Her thoughts are chaotic and are more emotion and feelings than mere thought." River said, rubbing her temples. Simon motioned subtly to the infirmary, and she knew he was trying to ask her if she wanted something for the pain; she shook her head, "No needles Simon. Can't stand that room right now. Too many memories of them."

"Wait. So you want us to go to a core planet and break into a government facility to rescue another moonbrained girl? Why her?" Jayne said, standing up abruptly, not liking that idea at all. They already had one _feng le_ girl on this ship. Why did they want to go rescue another one?

"Because, _Jayne_, she has a tale to tell and it is her turn to tell it." River said, raising her voice to match the pitch in his. She stood to stare up at him, trying to bridge the gap in their height. "And I am not so _feng le_ anymore! No crazier than you! At least I have a reason to be like this. What's your excuse _hun dan_?"

"Stay out of my head, girl!" He said before stomping off into the cargo bay. They all heard something slam into metal, and the reverberating ring of something soft on hard. River winced visibly and looked at Simon. "He hit his hand on the catwalk's support beam. He might have broken three of his bones. More specifically two proximal phalanges and perhaps a scaphoid and lunate in the wrist. He will need your medical expertise or he may have trouble healing and lose full mobility in his hand. Although he might just hit you with the other hand. Tread carefully _ge ge._ Wounded animals are just as likely to bite you than allow you to help them."

"I'll go with you _ni zi_." Kaylee said, helping him stand up. She kept a firm hold of his hand as he walked to get his bag from his room. When they returned- which took a bit longer than necessary- they were both laughing openly, "Besides, he'll be less likely to hurt you if I'm there."

River caught a glimpse of red on his neck as he looked down at Kaylee and walked up to him to reach a hand out to gently place it in the impression she had made earlier. Guilt clawed at her stomach when she realized she could have killed him. "She is so sorry Simon. Thought you were going to put needles in my eyes. Didn't see the clean hands. Thought they were blue. Realizes now what you were doing. Checking for retinal stimulation from light sensitive photons."

"It's okay _mei mei_. I don't blame you for anything." He said, using his free hand to pull her into a hug. He felt her shudder lightly, and knew that she was open to his thoughts. He regretfully allowed her to pull away, but not before he ran his hand down her cheek. "You have no control over what was done to you by those _bu hui hun dans._ Now I have to go put a splint on Jayne's hand. Wish me luck."

"It's about _gorram _time!" River said when the two of them had left. Everyone jumped when she laughed, something that always startled them. "I never thought he'd grow a pair and stop being such a boob."

The five of them laughed merrily when they heard Jayne yelling something incomprehensible from somewhere above them. _Probably the kitchen_, Mal thought, leaning into Inara to kiss her on the cheek. She smiled sweetly at him and leaned back into him. Zoe and Wash were looking at their unborn child, both of their hands, mocha and cream, settling onto her stomach. River looked at them, feeling their love, also feeling the bud of Simon's and Kaylee's, and she wondered. Where was Jayne's? Jayne deserved this kind of love just as much as the rest of them. She knew she wasn't that person. Her love was dance. Nothing would fill that place better than her dancing did. But what about Jayne? There had to be someone to fill up his emptiness. There was always someone. Someone who completed the other; an opposite to balance them out. She was determined to find that person, she would see that everyone was happy. She had to, and incomplete feeling had her off balance, not feeling right.

And so River wondered as she wandered into the cargo bay to embrace her only love. She turned on some classical music, not slow, but something that would allow her to feel the strands of music in her body, and she danced; flowing from one pose to the other. Flawlessly flowing around the cargo bay, she pondered the mystery of who Jayne's love would be. As if talking to someone out loud she kept speaking in her head, calling to this invisible person, asking her questions as if she could here her. No one answered, River didn't expect them to. But she stumbled to a stop as she saw something shimmer in front of her after she asked her last question. She stared at it so long that she forgot about her dancing or the music and studied the riddle before her.

_Who are you? _She had asked.

_Silver under leaf and white of bark/ I am the home of the throaty lark. _Came the poetic reply. River blinked and it was gone.

Did that mean that Jayne's soul mate a tree?


	2. Chapter 2

"The journey to Osiris is going to take at least two weeks Cap'n." Zoe was saying, from where she was perched on the console next to Wash who was punching in the coordinates that River provided and Simon confirmed.

"Can we shave that at all?" Mal asked, standing behind River, who was hunched back over the cortex screen. After the commotion that morning, Mal had been charged and ready to go, _"After effects of adrenaline." _Simon had said. He had finally convinced Mal that he needed to get some sleep, going straight for the ego, "_We're going to need a clever plan to get us into the Academy. That place is going to be heavily guarded. If we are going to even gain entrance we're going to need you as sharp as possible to come up with that plan." _Mal had just grunted and pushed himself toward his bunk, Inara following closely behind, giving Simon a conspirator's wink as she did so.

River wasn't as easy to convince. She knew she was going to be the one to formulate the plan to get them into the building- definitely not Mal- and she was ready to get back to work finding whatever she could. She only worked for about a half hour though before finally relenting when she couldn't see the screen clearly, and acknowledged that "_trying to work when this tired would be counter-productive_." They both slept soundly the entire day and woke up to the smell of dinner. They ate greedily- easily out eating Jayne. After the dinner dishes had been taken away they went back to the bridge. That was a few hours ago.

"Ain't no way Mal." Wash said, putting Serenity on auto-pilot, "As it is, we'll have to stop on Persephone to refuel and resupply. A task that will hopefully keep us out of Badger's reach. He ain't too happy with you these days Mal."

"Not too worried 'bout that. After River's persuasive _talk_ with him, he's backed down from the insults." Mal said, grinning at the girl who was oblivious to the conversation. After their last job with Badger, Mal had begun starting to think that the little man was getting to big for his britches. Badger had basically told Mal that if he set foot on Persephone again he would find a way to ground Serenity, permanently- in less than pretty words that is. Well Mal hadn't been to keen on being threatened and went to set the weasel straight, only to find River already there, standing in front of a very pale and shaking, Badger. Mal never knew what she did, but they were never again threatened by him- even got some good jobs out of him- which was damn near a miracle.

"I'm just glad we got paid for the job on Ita. If we didn't we wouldn't have enough cash to get us off Persephone, let alone to Osiris." Zoe said, standing off the console. She ran a hand over her ever-growing belly, then bent and kissed Wash on the temple. "I'm heading to bed. Don't keep me waiting too long husband."

Mal raised an eyebrow at the pilot as he beamed at his wife. River giggled and Mal and Wash jumped at the surprising sound and spun to gape at her. Her giggles became full throated laughs as she doubled over in her chair, weakly pointing at Wash. They all heard footsteps in the hall as Simon, Kaylee and Inara headed for the bridge, interested at the sound. They all stared at the small girl, hunched over laughing, incredulously.

"River? Are you okay?" Kaylee asked, stepping toward her, stopping when River hiccupped loudly. They all jumped at the sound and were laughing in their own right when she did it again.

"River is not having mental breakdown, Simon." River said, reading his thoughts. She looked up at them, tears of joviality in her eyes, chest heaving from trying to reign in her hiccups, "Wash, you cannot name your child Rex. Or Tyran. Dinosaur names are not meant for humans." She said amidst her hysterical laughter.

"You want to name your kid Rex?" Inara asked, her chuckles dissolving into undignified giggling.

"What?" Wash asked, a smile on his face, "It's a great name!"

"It sounds like a dogs name." Jayne said from the doorway. Everyone besides River jumped at the sound of his voice, seeming to choke on their tongues.

"Well Jayne is a girl's name." River said, a glint in her eyes. Everyone tensed, ready for Jayne to explode, but he merely growled and stalked away, his face red. The women dissolved into undignified giggles as the guys waited tensely for Jayne to come back, yelling.

"I still remember the last time she said that to him." Simon said, shuddering, "Crude ape."

"At least he ain't- you know- being normal." Kaylee said, scrunching up her forehead. "Or, well… you know what I mean. He's not yelling, that's a plus."

"It's still strange."

"Wait. So back to the baby's name." Inara said, a little breathless from laughing, "Are you two really considering naming it Rex?"

"We actually haven't sat down to pick out names." He said, pushing himself out of the pilot's chair, "We're gonna do that tonight. I doubt Rex is going to be on there, but one can only hope. Well I'm off. I'm going to go name my kid. Ship's all yours Rivosaur."

As soon as Wash left, Mal sat down in his seat and River turned back to the cortex screen, her smile fading. She sat like that a few minutes longer before her brow furrowed and she sighed deeply, "_Ge ge_, what do you remember about my rescue?" She asked suddenly, turning back toward him.

"Not much unfortunately. I wasn't actually there." He said, fidgeting, "I do remember that they gained access through the utility tunnels. I'm not sure which ones or where they would be at. We kept in minimal contact with each other. I don't even have a layout of the place."

"I have that." River said, her eyes clouding. "I have walked halls and- and I-she had seen the people. Heard their thoughts. Will know them when she feels them. Knows way. Wont lose."

"Are you sure you can do this _mei mei_?" Simon asked, looking down at his sister, who was still looking past them, trying to find the connection with the broken girl. When she found none, she returned to herself, finding everyone looking at her.

"I am sorry. Will you repeat the inquiry?" River asked, looking back at the screen. She had to find the file she knew would tell her about the other _students_ at the Academy. The ones that weren't like her.

"Can you go through with this?" Simon reiterated, sitting down in the seat directly behind her. Kaylee sat down on the arm of his chair, and Inara excused herself, saying this kind of talk needed tea.

"I must. Or it will fester." She simply stated, without turning. She knew he wouldn't understand, his only thoughts were for making her better. The captain understood, knew she wouldn't be able to live if she didn't fix it. Even Jayne understood, in his own strange way. He thought of it as a small way of getting back at the Academy for hurting the girl. He was right. Even if the girl was able to ignore the pain, she would have gone back- with or without them- just so she could get back at the people who stole her childhood. Book would have understand too. Even if he wouldn't have liked it, he would have kept his peace because he would have known she needed to do it.

At the thought of the Shepherd, River felt a small sharp pain in her heart. She knew it wasn't really in her heart, _just an expression_, but it hurt none-the-less. She missed the preacher-man. Not his hair, that she would never miss, but she missed him- even his misplaced faith. He was always light, his thoughts never lingered on the dark things of the 'verse. She had truly felt peaceful around him and she missed that.

"I brought some lavender and chamomile tea for everyone." Inara announced, walking back onto the bridge, carrying a tray with five steaming mugs sitting on it. She passed them out and set the tray by Mal's feet and took her customary seat on Mal's lap. They all sat there for a while, sipping at their tea, and watched River stare at the screen. Her hands picked up speed the longer she worked, until she suddenly stopped and slammed her hands on the desk, cursing loudly. "_Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng! _It's not here!"

"River, language." Simon said, promptly getting slapped by Kaylee, who was rolling her eyes at him.

"She is an adult and in deep space Simon. Who is going to here her being improper?" Kaylee stated before taking his empty cup from him and exited the bridge to get refills.

"What are you looking for _mei mei_?" 'Nara asked, setting her likewise empty cup on the console.

"I was hoping to find a file indicating who was at the Academy. I remember only those like me there. I was trying to locate the others." She said, finally picking up her tea to drink. She had never liked her tea hot and so waited until it was cool enough before she drank it.

"What do you mean 'others'?" Simon asked, accepting the tea Kaylee had brought back with her.

"The girl. She is different from me. I don't know how, but she is. I am hoping they are at the same building I was kept in. But I am not so sure now."

"Why not?" Mal asked, scraping a hand through his hair, squashing the random thought about needing it cut.

"Because I have an eidetic memory and I don't remember anyone like her before." She said, leaning against the back of the chair. She wouldn't admit it, but she was far more tired than she was going to tell anyone. The sleep she had gotten earlier was not enough and she had had nightmares during that time. Simon had been somewhere else and hadn't heard her crying and she didn't want him to. He would have just given her something and she didn't want drugs, they only made her foggy. "Everyone in that building had been like me, in one stage or another, but everyone was like me. She is different. Doesn't just feel the thoughts, seeks them out, pushes them into others' minds."

"What happens if she's not at the same place you were?" Kaylee asked, not liking how River was looking. Her eyes seemed sunken into her skull and seemed haunted with old pain. She wanted to cheer her up, but didn't know how.

"Just being who you are cheers me up Kaylee." River said, giving her friend a small smile- the pain in her eyes momentarily gone. Kaylee smiled, feeling a little better, not caring that River had just read her mind. "I'm hoping that when we get closer I'll be able to feel her easier. Right now I can't feel her at all, and she seems inclined not to reach out to me."

"What happens if you cannot feel her?" Inara asked, settling back against Mal, laying her head on his shoulder. She let her eyes drift closed and sighed, she couldn't help it. She loved the feeling of him pressed against her; it felt like home. She wanted to stay like that forever, but regretfully lifted her head back up, opening her eyes.

River gave a predatory grin that had the others involuntarily shivering. She slowly turned towards the perpetual night sky; the peace she usually found wasn't to be found that night, she knew that, but she still felt attracted to the cold black, the empty void without the crashing waves of thought and emotion, "If I cannot find her with my brain, then I will just have to tear that facility apart with my hands until she is found or until everyone of those _Tyen-sah duh uh-muo _are dead. At this point I have no inclination to care which avenue I take."

With that said, she picked herself up and walked out of the bridge, leaving the four others to stare at her back, shocked by the open hostility she had displayed.


	3. Chapter 3

**I have decided that since this story hasn't gotten the views I had hoped it would get, I am postponing it until I have finished my other story: What Was Left Unsaid. I am hoping to pick it back up when I have more time.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read, faved, and followed. It is my deepest hope that you will continue your support of my story and will read it again when I pick it back up.**

**-The Forever dedicated, Hazel**


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